Guest Emoji-Based Review: Titans 26, Roosters 6.

Titans 26 (Paasi, Mead, Mcqueen, Zillman tries; Roberts 5 goals) bt Roosters 6 (Mitchell try; Hastings goal) at Cbus Super Stadium, Gold Coast.

As many of you will be aware, the head of 26 Rounds was out of reviewing action yesterday with a shocking case of man flu. It was horrendous. It was as if his man flu contracted man flu. And as you all know, man flu is literally the worst thing that can happen to a person.

But Twitter’s resident eccentrist, Yiannis Daras, a fan known for his affinity for short hookers (by that I mean Heath L’ Estrange, you pervert) stepped into the void and offered his thoughts on the game in Emoji form — and it’s better than anything words could possibly describe about last night’s debacle.

So without further ado, take it away Yiannis:

Yiannis1
What else needs to be said that a turd emoji recurring cannot?

Though, I feel I should deliver my two cents through the shroud of man flu and semi-lucidity.

For one, we couldn’t hold the freaking pill. Deadset, amputees had a better chance of catching a slippery bar of soap than the Roosters had of keeping hold of the Steeden, and it was an unfortunate night, again, for our two wingers who combined for seven errors.

They outran and out-hustled us. Big time. Remember in the preview how I alluded to the fact Agnatius Passi is not down until he’s down, as evidenced by this play versus the Dragons a while back?

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Well, he did almost exactly the same thing last night to get the Titans back into the lead just shy of halftime:

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They made 400 extra running metres, six fewer errors and three more line breaks than our meek attack could muster. It was perhaps the nadir in a season in which we continually find a way to scrape and find a new bottom. We’ll hit China soon, I’m sure.

They caught out Joe Burgess repeatedly as the right edge, again, failed every single test. Josh Hoffman — yes, Josh Hoffman — hosed Ferguson all game and Burgess has been reading too many defensive texts from the school of Chris Walker. It was so bad he made Tyrone Roberts look like Brad Fittler:

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But there was one highlight we can cherish. This, from The Future:

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Who needs Jarryd Hayne anyway?

Stats (accrued from NRLstats.com)

Click to enlarge:

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